Coaching Tips on Effectiveness

Or how to focus on what matters to YOU.

Archive for the ‘Self-Coaching’ Category

The Purpose of Meaning

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Looking at how events unfold in the past year, I say this is so true. And it’s not only me – it’s the entire world. I suddenly feel part of a “greater future waiting to emerge“. We young people are  focused – not focused – we are driven to make a difference. We are looking for activity that makes us feel human beings.

Isn’t it ironic? We’re all careerists working in multinationals, spending our days in cubicals and fantasizing about making a difference. We read about leadership and inspiration. We thrive on motivational talks. We look into “what makes people tick”. And from our cubical corner, we hope that our little corporate job makes a difference somewhere out there.

We’re looking for the greater purpose, and yet, somehow, we end up doing small work.
Are we?

What if you take this small work and multiply the effect?
What if your email turns into a project? What if that project gives an idea to someone? What if that idea ends up changing lives?

I believe that’s why so many young people – and let’s not forget Gen Y are the future leadership of major companies – are into Corporate Social Responsibility projects. That’s why so many people are going into the personal development field. That’s why coaching is exploding.

Because we want to make a difference. Because the purpose of life is to find a meaning. And most of us are looking for this meaning in our everyday job.

I’m recently more and more focused on mine…and boy, I do feel the difference when I wake up in the morning.

What’s YOUR passion? What is the one activity that gives your life meaning?


Written by effectivenesscoach

November 11, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Self coaching step by step

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When I first bumped into coaching I was told “The easiest way to experience coaching is to do self-coaching.” I kinda scratched my head and thought “How can I do something without first experiencing it?”

Now, several years ahead on the road, I am learning steadfast how coaching is done with others. But what’s amazing me and feels great is how I’ve learned to apply it with myself.
It goes like this:

1. First, you try to get into the “coaching mode.” It starts with this simple thing. STOP TALKING when in a conversation. Coaches have a little acronym for this – it’s called W.A.I.T. and stands for “Why Am I Talking?”

2. Truly listen to the other person. Be interested. Listen attentively. Refrain yourself from saying “Ah, I know exactly what you mean, I’ve had the same experience. Let me tell you about it. Just two days ago….”

3. Ask questions. They don’t need to be coaching questions. Actually, let me tell you a secret. There are no ‘coaching questions’. Simply try to understand the person in front, and allow him/herself to understand their own situation.

4. Once you got yourself into the “coaching/questioning more”, start directing this towards yourself. You’ll find it’s amazing. You are doing something and the next second, the little voice inside your head asks “Why am I doing this? What am I trying to achieve with it? What are my options?”

I chose not to start with asking questions to myself because I found myself confused when having this inner dialogue without practicing it before with a real person. But if it works for you, start with the questions towards yourself and then practice it on the outside 🙂

The difference between self-coaching and personal planning, the way I see it, is that planning is much more objective and dry. I set some objectives out for myself, and keep myself accountable. Self-coaching is a constant dialogue of encouragement and acknowledgment. I do this because that’s what I want to achieve.


Written by effectivenesscoach

August 29, 2009 at 7:39 am