Coaching Tips on Effectiveness

Or how to focus on what matters to YOU.

Archive for the ‘Personal models’ Category

Courage and inspiration

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Many times, when we see people who leave everything and pursue their dreams, we think:

“Yeah, but he/she’s missing all the money I’m earning”

“He/she’ll never make it, it’s too utopic”

“I’d never be able to do that anyway”

..or other excuses we kindly make up for ourselves.

I remembered this when I read again Mihai’s story – a friend of mine who decided to give up everything (job and money, in a nutshell) to dedicate himself to a project related to human development and coaching. More about his project and life here and here.

Also inspiring was the dream of Alex Gavan, another friend who’s an alpinist and recently returned from a trip to the Himalayas. I remember when we were both around 20 (some 7-8 years ago), returning from a conference on a bus, and he said: “You know, I’m a mountain climber. That’s what I want to do. I want to climb the highest mountains in the world.” I said “You’re crazy. Do you even know what this means?” but of course I learned to admire this when, step by step, he followed his goal. He’s now pretty famous, and an inspiration to people in my home country, as he will deliver a speech on his dream at TED X Bucharest in October.

Of course, having the courage to pursue an apparently impossible goal can be reckless. You can destroy everything you’ve built in your life so far. But also, you might succeed. And I’m sure both Mihai and Alex can say that the thing that helped them most here was support of others.

What’s the conclusion?

When someone talks about a goal, and your first reaction to it is “This is insane. How can you do that?”, think that you may be snapping the door on an inspiring future of someone.

How about saying  “That’s a great idea! What’s the first step you want to take?”

Written by effectivenesscoach

September 25, 2009 at 5:59 am

Your 5 roles

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There’s a video of a great guy that I  show at each Time Management training. His name is Jim Lafferty and you won’t find him over the internet unless you add  “P&G” after his name.

He says in his Work Life Effectiveness training that you should aim to have 5 main roles in your life.

“Someone asked me if he could do more than 5. I don’t know. I tell you this: I’m a pretty efficient guy, and I can only do 5. Maybe you can do 6, give it a shot. But 5 is the best I could ever do.”

“I love to play golf. That was until my wife made me attentive about this. She said “You’re all day at work, and then you’re with your friends playing golf. I never get to see you!”

So I started counting my roles. P&G: can’t really drop that, it kind of pays the bills. Father – I can’t drop that. Husband – I’m not dropping that. Son – Can’t drop that. Fitness Instructor – I can’t allow myself to be completely out of shape. Golfer…Uh-oh.

I’ve played one round of golf in the past 15 years. That’s life. You gotta make choices.”

So being an effectiveness coach, I had a rather ironic situation today. Counting my roles, I got to 7. No wonder I was feeling overwhelmed, overworked, bitchy and possessive over my personal time.

What I did, with the help of my coach (thanks Ruba! 🙂 ) was to split them over spans of 3 weeks rather than a single week. So I get to fulfill most of my roles, but one at a time, every other week or so. I can’t please everyone, and at least I know there’s going to be a bit of time just for myself at the end of the day. And I’m making choices based on what I want.
Like the choice to post this on my blog rather than send that email at work, that email that’s been waiting for me for 2 days…:)

Written by effectivenesscoach

September 8, 2009 at 6:46 pm