Coaching Tips on Effectiveness

Or how to focus on what matters to YOU.

Freedom is Letting Go

with 2 comments

Posted here on LifeToolkit.net.

Two days ago I moved into a new apartment – and I wrote about the hassle it brings here. But there are also some benefits to moving. And I believe that’s why I love travelling so much. And why other people roam the world with their whole lives packed in a caravan.

Once you let go of what you own, you become free.

In the book Presence, sociologist Otto Scharmer tells how he found his new life meaning after a fire that destroyed his home. As a young boy, he was called from school because of a “terrible accident” and ran to find the last remains of his house burning. “As I gazed deeply into the flames, the flames began to sink into me”, he says, realizing that he is not his house, nor his belongings, but simply is. It took Otto a painful, life changing experience, to realize this.

When your world shifts, you need to change perspective.

Often we are forced to experience this, by deaths of loved ones, accidents or events that change our environment. But a smaller scale experiment can bring you closer to yourself.

1. You are not your job.

Your job is a name on your business card. What is it that you do, that creates meaning? I found myself fortunate enough to realize I could be anywhere, coaching. I would need nothing but a laptop to connect to the Internet. Heck, I don’t even need the Internet if I have people around. The value to them is my job.

2. You are not your belongings, nor your clothes, nor the place you live in.

As I stopped 2 days ago, to eat, between two trips moving boxes, I realized I don’t have anything with me (but my wallet and phone). And I didn’t miss anything. I was exhilarated. Hours later, finding myself in a room of boxes, I found that rather than being happy that I had everything I needed around me, I was annoyed. Annoyed that they were cluttering up the space. I didn’t need half of them. So I started throwing stuff away. Make an inventory like Dani here on her Positively Present blog. You will find out that you don’t need half of the stuff you own. Give it away. You will feel lighter. Most of what I truly cherish is in a bunch of notebooks I’ve written across the years. The rest is in my head. Cicero was the first to say “I carry everything I have with me”, and he didn’t carry any bags.

3. You are not the people you spend time with.

While moving, I spent time only with my life&apartment mate. And obviously, I had no access to Internet. I have no phone at the new apartment. And I limited my mobile calls to a minimum, cause I was busy. I don’t recommend this as a long term solution, cause social networking does make you feel good and lifts your spirits. But do, do, do try to keep away from time to time. Strip yourself from all unnecessary things you’re carrying around with you. Some are physical. Some are relationships. Some are thoughts you never wanted to admit, but keep coming back. Let them go. Take a trip somewhere. Take just your backpack. Why do we feel the need to pack so much when we leave home? In order to be really free, we have to let go.

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Written by effectivenesscoach

December 1, 2009 at 7:44 am

2 Responses

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  1. amazing perspective as usual, thanks Mer and congratulations on the new home, enjoy it 🙂

    ruba

    December 2, 2009 at 10:46 pm

  2. Hello, sunt incantat de faptul ca scrii atat de bine despre coaching in legatura cu viata, de fpat stiam ca esti o persoana destul de pregatita in ceea ce faci si organizata, in plus,cred ca. faci din suflet pentru ca altfel nu ar fi iesit atat de bine.
    Eu sunt George @Bu, sunt newie si ai fost cea care a trebuit sa imi prezinte mie si altor colegi povestea ta din @… iti prezint si blogul meu, asa cum am zis ca o voi face
    http://son1ofthe3earth.wordpress.com/.O zi buna pentru un week end mai bun

    son of the Earth

    December 4, 2009 at 6:11 pm


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