Coaching Tips on Effectiveness

Or how to focus on what matters to YOU.

Self coaching step by step

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When I first bumped into coaching I was told “The easiest way to experience coaching is to do self-coaching.” I kinda scratched my head and thought “How can I do something without first experiencing it?”

Now, several years ahead on the road, I am learning steadfast how coaching is done with others. But what’s amazing me and feels great is how I’ve learned to apply it with myself.
It goes like this:

1. First, you try to get into the “coaching mode.” It starts with this simple thing. STOP TALKING when in a conversation. Coaches have a little acronym for this – it’s called W.A.I.T. and stands for “Why Am I Talking?”

2. Truly listen to the other person. Be interested. Listen attentively. Refrain yourself from saying “Ah, I know exactly what you mean, I’ve had the same experience. Let me tell you about it. Just two days ago….”

3. Ask questions. They don’t need to be coaching questions. Actually, let me tell you a secret. There are no ‘coaching questions’. Simply try to understand the person in front, and allow him/herself to understand their own situation.

4. Once you got yourself into the “coaching/questioning more”, start directing this towards yourself. You’ll find it’s amazing. You are doing something and the next second, the little voice inside your head asks “Why am I doing this? What am I trying to achieve with it? What are my options?”

I chose not to start with asking questions to myself because I found myself confused when having this inner dialogue without practicing it before with a real person. But if it works for you, start with the questions towards yourself and then practice it on the outside 🙂

The difference between self-coaching and personal planning, the way I see it, is that planning is much more objective and dry. I set some objectives out for myself, and keep myself accountable. Self-coaching is a constant dialogue of encouragement and acknowledgment. I do this because that’s what I want to achieve.

Enjoy!

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Written by effectivenesscoach

August 29, 2009 at 7:39 am

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