Coaching Tips on Effectiveness

We all had challenging presentations to demanding audiences. While preparing, it’s easy to go into the “ready for battle” mindset rather than the “win-win” one. And, personally, I’ve had clashes that started from scratch just because I entered them with the wrong mindset.

Rejection mainly comes from doubt. In a group situation, doubt is contagious. It is squared and then multiplied to the number of persons in that group. Doubt causes questioning and challenging, which causes re-work (not to mention emotional damage!).

What are the causes of lack of trust (=doubt or interference) in group work? Think about the most difficult team training or presentation you delivered. Do you recognize some patterns?

• fear of ridicule
• fear of being dominated
• pursuit of personal agenda
• distrusting each other’s intentions
• absence of agreed ground rules
• beliefs and positions (“this is how things should be”)

So I decided to change something. I started looking at why the group would trust me. And how I can capitalize on this trust. So I switched into the “coaching” minset. I gave them the credit of having good intentions, and I went into the meeting with my own good intentions.  And what happened? The group responded constructively with:

• listening and desire to understand
• challenging constructively
• requesting and offering to support
• flexibility
• accountability
• care for each other.

In the end, I believe that the mindset with which you go into a discussion can radically change the outcome of that discussion.

Ask yourself:

• what do I have to offer to this group?
• what vision do we share?
• what trust do they have in me? how can I use/increase that?
• what trust do I have in them? how can I use/increase that?

The above are inspired from coach Myles Downey‘s book “Effective coaching” and the chapter on Team Coaching.